Let me start off by saying that this is in no way a blog to bash retail companies or customer service. It’s really a place for us all to come together and share the RIDICULOUS interactions that we’ve all had to endure when dealing with customers. Because let’s be honest, everyday is a “Full Moon” when working in the retail world. No matter what capacity you have worked in (retail, customer service, food industry, personal assistant, etc…) we can all relate. Anyone who has ever had any kind of human interaction, this blog is FOR YOU.
So, needless to say….PEOPLE ARE FUCKING STUPID. Right? If retail and customer service has taught us anything, it is in fact that we are surrounded by crazy people. Everything from customer’s threatening to have you fired to a customer tripping in the parking lot and wanting to sue you personally. Retail is awesome.
One of my first “AHA! People are Stupid” moments was when a lady that was standing in the very back of the store staring AND pushing on the wall. I went against everything within me that said, “nah…just let her keep staring at the wall.” But being the EXCELLENT employee that I am, I asked if I could help her with something? She said she was trying to find the exit. Well lady let me tell you…you are getting dangerously close to finding the secret hidden passage way that will just miraculously transport you to your next destination. Like lady…there’s one fucking entrance and exit in this place. FOLLOW THE DAMN LIGHT. This was literally my Dane Cook moment that he talks about when he worked at Burger King.
“I took, I took a lady’s order one time. I’ll never forget this.
I go like this.. Mam. That’ll be $3.75. Please drive around.
And then there’s like this long pause and then she goes..
Where do I go? …Where do you go?!
You follow the one fucking road you’re on to me!
Where do you Ok mam you’re gonna go to the Texaco station.
Take a right. Go 5 and a half miles southeast.
You’re gonna see a guy in a yellow poncho. His name is Hank.
He’ll take you to the whopper Lair. That’s where you go.
And you’ve got 10 minutes to get there or we take your food!”